Turk the Turkey learns a lesson
Published 9:18 pm Tuesday, April 11, 2023
By Harold Brummett
Denmark Star Route
Turk the Turkey is in a foul mood. Turk is the dominate bird in the yard and he enforces poultry discipline with the seriousness and skill of a TSA agent. An incident last week badly damaged his pride.
The Guineas (an African bird) chase each other in the spring and start breaking up into family groups with one male and several females in each group. These runs last for a very long time and no doubt provide entertainment for themselves as well as establishing rank within the flock.
On occasion, Guineas will run around the barn and the lead Guinea will slip into a horse stall. After his protagonist runs past, what was the lead Guinea then squirts out of his hiding place, sprints past the bird who was chasing him and eases back into his being chased position.
In the summer when the heat is at its worst Guineas have been seen walking like ducks in a row in apparent agreement that while some chasing had to be done, it was going to be done at a walk. Running and chasing is an art form in the Guinea world.
Turk cannot stand it.
If anyone is going to be dominating on the farm, it is going to be him. He gives chase in order to break up all this dashing about nonsense. The Guineas love it. A Guinea will run full tilt from Turk for a while then dodge into the Guinea audience of 10 to 15 birds. The relief Guinea will take off like the guilty party while his brother catches a beak of air.
Turk, unable to tell the difference between Guineas, continues the chase unaware that he is now chasing a fresh bird. After a time of sprinting behind a Guinea with the apparent stamina of Superbird and several dodges into the audience of Guineas, Turk is dragging tail feathers.
Today the Guineas added a new twist. The chased Guinea ran under the beehives. The bees became upset as the large black turkey with a bright blue, white and red head careened under and around the hives chasing a Guinea.
Bees require regulation and hard work in their vicinity responded with righteous indignity to this assault on good order and gave chase intending to punish the offender.
The chased Guinea soon forgotten as Turk decided to stand his ground and fight. Turk spun in place snapping at and vainly trying to best the bees. The Guinea audience, seeing how this turn of events was playing out, disbanded and reassembled a safe distance away.
Shortly Turk retracted his snood, his bright red, blue and white colors faded as his head snapped and flopped around in an effort to subdue the legions of bees now engaged in battle.
Valor, discipline, gallantry and dignity forfeited, as the numbers of attackers grew to more than Turk could stand.
Turk retreated up the hill where the reassembled Guinea audience squawked their rating of his performance. Or perhaps they were just laughing.
Write to Harold Brummett at firstname.lastname@example.org