Not many dull moments with Dragonslayer

Published 4:59 pm Tuesday, September 3, 2019

By Sherry Hopkins

Community Columnist

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Quiet, peaceful days are bringing summer to a close. As always we are eager for the change in temperatures and the rainbow of colors autumn always brings. For a moment over the weekend there was a north wind and if you stood still and cocked your head toward that breeze you could hear the sound of fall being ushered in soon.

The tomato troughs have been cleaned out and the old raggedy spent plants discarded. The property and porches could use some tender loving care, but just not today.

Our GA girls at church are eagerly looking forward to our new and second year. We have seven girls from first thru fifth grade. They give me a run for my money and remind me in subtle ways the age gap between us all.

Christmas projects are beginning and programs are being rehearsed. These girls are so smart and so aware of the world and all who live in it. I suppose social media is responsible for that and I believe social awareness is good at any age. Realizing one’s place in the world and the responsibility we all have can be daunting. These young ones take it all in stride. They bless me greatly each in their own unique ways.

Monday is cleaning day and we were through early this week. Shortly after the freshly mopped kitchen floor dried I went to the fridge for something to drink. I stopped dead in my tracks as I eyed a lizard parked in front of the fridge. “Don, Don, Don!” I called loudly, “help!” Dear Don came quickly to my aid all the while yelling back at me asking what was wrong.

I pointed to the lizard that I could now see was clearly without a tail. “Grab the broom,” I screamed.

Just as Don gets to me with the broom and dustpan the lizard scurries underneath the refrigerator. I panicked thinking I would run up on him in the middle of some night where he would surely make me have a heart attack, or at the very least pee on myself.

Don then took the handy yard stick and began to make broad sweeps under the fridge. Before the lizard could be caught, out of the corner of my eye I caught movement. It was the tail of the lizard and it was swishing back and forth. I really panicked and began to run from room to room wailing.

All the while Don is hollering for me to stomp on the lizard when he sweeps him out. “No, no, no, no, no, I’m not going to do that.”

At that moment while I’m wailing and Dear Don is sweeping the lizard tries to escape. He makes a run for it and Dear Don puts that big ole boot covered foot square down on the lizard. Problem solved.  I swear you could hear the theme from Rocky in the background. Dear Don was holding his hands high in the air in triumph all the while saying,  “Uninterrupted, unphased.”

I’m guessing that is some kind of man chant similar to Tarzan’s yell? Beats me. The wailing increases and continues. “I just mopped that floor,” I cry. “It’s scarcely dry. Oh why did you do that?” more wailing except now Dear Ole Don is cleaning up floors and boots and emptying trash receptacles. This did not go the way I expected. But the lizard is gone.

I don’t know where he came from, but I hope it was Miami or Galveston or even sunny California. I hope he was single and had no family whatsoever. I hope he had no job so no one will be asking about his whereabouts.

Sometimes the quietest of days can erupt into chaos quickly in this house. My throat hurts from wailing and the Dragonslayer says he now has a headache so I think we will retire to separate rooms and sleep it all off.

Stay tuned.

To contact Sherry email or call 662.563.2525