Batesville Police Department

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Police: couple was uh…well…um…uh…

By John Howell Sr.

The Batesville Police Department reported no felony arrests or crimes during the weekend.

But, according to the weekend’s incident reports, officers did face challenges.

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Take Lieutenant John Miller, for example, who was called to the parking lot of a local watering hole at 1:35 a.m. Sunday morning to investigate a report “of an indecently exposed male white wearing an orange shirt with his pants around his ankles standing next to a white vehicle… ,” according to the officer’s report

“Upon arrival,” the report continues, he found a man, “with his pants off of his hips and unfastened. When the man saw me, he quickly pulled up his pants.”

It gets better.

“A female standing next to him was adjusting her clothes,” who “stated she was attempting to stop him from urinating in the parking lot,” according to the officer’s statement.

However, “bystanders reported seeing the two subjects in a romantic encounter in the same spot,” the officer’s report stated. “Both subjects appeared to be very intoxicated. The male subject could not stand without leaning against the vehicle. The female subject stated she would go inside the bar to get her ride home. Other bar patrons arrived on scene and volunteered to transport the male subject from the parking lot to his home,” the report continued.

“The male subject left the area as a passenger, …” according to Miller. No charges were filed.

Other incidents investigated included a Saturday morning domestic disturbance in an apartment at 214 Tubbs Road. No charges by officer Kelvin Morgan, who investigated the incident.

Patrolman Richard Lott took a report of the theft of a pistol at the Batesville Civic Center. The theft occurred between noon and 3:30 p.m. Saturday, according to Lott’s report.