Sherry Hopkins Column

Published 12:00 am Friday, July 27, 2007

Purse inventory reveals useful items seldom used

When Dear Don and I leave the house to go somewhere together it is always me straggling behind to make sure I have everything we need, even if it’s a short trip to town and back.

He grabs keys and wallet and he’s out the door. I’m looking for lists (in case we stop by the grocery store or Wally World or Lowe’s), my purse, extra keys (?) etc., etc,.

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It’s really hard to be spontaneous when you are trapped by so MUCH STUFF.

I could probably be stuck in my car for days with all the junk I carry and never miss a beat.

I tried to pull my purse down into my lap this morning from a shelf higher up. When I finally got it coming my way the momentum made it crash into me, and WOW, that hurt. What do I have in there anyway? That thing must weigh 10 pounds. The following list is the inventory from said purse.

A can of hairspray, a comb, my wallet, (that must weigh a good three pounds itself), my cell phone, that I never have on, a larger-than-needed calculator, a manicure set that could be useful in so many settings besides the obvious, lipstick, a compact, a pill bottle with extra over the counter meds just in case, (I take no medication at present,) a plastic fork, make that two plastic forks, a check register from 2006, lotion, a leather bound pad with another calculator attached, a 2007 calendar/day planner, car keys, keys to Don’s old truck and another set to his new ride, a plastic knife. Whew!

Also, a ziploc bag of artificial sweetener, three ink pens, two more lotions, a mirror, Band-Aid, Chapstick, a germ-killing hand wipe, a pair of earrings that I’ve been looking for, four paper clips, five pennies and a ticket stub to a movie that wasn’t worth the price of admission. And I really hate to admit this but I also have two packs of ketchup and a pack of croutons along with various and sundry receipts dating back to the stone age.

No wonder I have shoulder problems. I’ve been blaming my aching arms and shoulders on swimming but it could be the massive weight of things I have accumulated in that bag.

Dear Don says I’m always prepared for any emergency or situation. With all those items I could do a lot of things, but to my knowledge outside of shifting them around when I’m trying to find something, I hardly ever use a thing.

I need to clean house so to speak or I’m gonna be permanently tilting to the left.

You get the picture?

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