The 12 days of  Chr’muh* — with attendant apologies**

On the first day of Chr’muh,
A policeman said to me,
“Lock up your car wherever you are,
Or the victim of a thief you might be.”
On the 2nd day of Chr’muh,
The policeman said to me,
“Your house needs locking, too
Or you might return to find it emp-tee.”

The 3rd day of Chr’muh,
That policeman said to me,
“Those pretty packages left in your car,
A miscreant will see as an opportunity.”

By the 4th day of Chr’muh,
The policeman said to me,
“Park where the light is bright
Or you might find yourself victim of thuggery!”
On the 5th day of Chr’muh,
The policeman still had much to say:
“Have keys in hand, when to car you return,
Or risk a muggwumping because of  delay.”

On the 7th day of Chr’muh,
The policeman had more to advise,
‘Load your phone with emergency numbers,
Then if you have one you’ll be deemed wise.’

On the 8th day of Chr’muh,
The policeman spoke anew,
‘Packages delivered when you’re gone,
Might disappear, leaving gift count too few.’

On the 9th day of Chr’muh,
That policeman told to me,
“Don’t leave those wrapped packages showing,
Where through a window a thief might see.”

By the 10th day of Chr’muh,
Endless precautions had grown boring,
But because we’d not heeded,
The number of thefts kept soaring.

On the 11th day of Chr’muh,
A policeman from up near the North Pole,
Warned: ‘Don’t leave car warming untended,
It might drive off, leaving you in the hole.’

On the 12th day of Chr’muh,
The policeman said to me,
“But for your good timing, we’d throw you in jail,
For exceedingly bad rhymin!”

* “Chr-muh” — phonetic spelling of Christmas the way the boys from Blackjack pronounced it when they joined Batesville Elementary School with consolidation in 1958.

**With apologies to the “12 Yats of Christmas” and anyone else who feels like they need apologizing to.