Ricky Harpole 10/22/2013

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Updating computers reduces IQ, depletes horsepower — not unlike second marriage

There are always problems from unfamiliar equipment. This new laptop proves to be no exception. New gadgets and ongoing technology are a curse as well as a blessing.

The blessing part is questionable at this point. I was perfectly content with my old windows 2000 but 13 years is a ripe old age for any electronic device and especially one that has done as much traveling as she did. When the miles finally caught up with  her she got too ripe for service and croaked in her sleep one dark night. I sure do miss the old gal because she took months worth of my sweat, lies, and finger work to hell with her.

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Changing computers is like your second marriage. Number two might be faster and smarter, but at this stage of the game I don’t want anything around me that is faster than I am with the possible exception of a pacing horse with a smooth gait and an IQ at least four points lower than mine.

Cars, trucks, and even motorcycles have more electronic bells and whistles than a damn steamboat and fall apart more often and at the most incontinent times imaginable. I find myself reminded of an especially pregnant wife I once upon a time made a foolish investment in. Martin Brothers scrap yard has shredded more cars than a continent of sauerkraut for no other reasons except for electronic malfunctions that even the manufacturer can’t fix.

There are few things on the road today that will hang with a 1969 Dodge Superbird with a hemi under the hood. It had a simple system that you could repair on the side of the road with your ol’ lady’s fingernail file or a can of WD-40.

Nowadays things are as complicated as a Russian radio or a Harrier jet. I can recall when a telephone had a dialing apparatus that you had to stick your index finger in and turn it like a wagon wheel. The old fashioned stuff worked and was simple to fix. I drove old cars and flew antique aircraft I like old, single-action pistols, wild horses and tame women.

I have a fond affiliation for old Triumph and Harley Davidson motorcycles. I guess I don’t like new things because I ain’t very new myself.

There was a time when I could hitch a four-horse team by myself. but I couldn’t do it today. I wouldn’t want to if I was able.

I would not want to go that far back anyway. Four hoses would superceed my IQ by 37% at the very least.
Here’s to the good old days.
Ricky Harpole
(Contact Ricky Harpole at www.facebook.com/harpolive or www.colespointrecords.com)