Since it is still the “voting season,” I wonder if anyone can explain why we vote on November 2. Children, for the love of irony, it is only three calendar days past Halloween!

Why don’t we just have trick or treat day and election day on the same date to avoid confusion? Then we could snack on our Halloween loot, devouring the candy we confiscated from our kids and wait on the runoff election.

This year on the night of November 1 my truck was suddenly discombobulated six hours from the polls. I had to hitchhike 20 hours to get to Longtown where I always vote and where they suddenly had no record of my registration.

Well, after investing 300 miles and arriving in a state of exhaustion, I was informed that my voting precinct had been moved to the Crenshaw polls. I had to hitchhike the last leg with my brother-in-law. You can imagine how happy a camper he was since he’d already voted and roofed a house that day and fixed a toilet. Now I ask every voter in the United States of America these questions:

• How can your poll site be changed without notification? I did a little poll of my own. (Local of course, since I have limited resources.) These pollees only had theories. Here they are:

1.) You voted for the wrong man in the last election and deserved punishment.

2.) Some official in charge of the poll simply made a stupid (oops, I meant honest) mistake

3.) You were too outspoken before and the powers already in office had to shut you up before you shut them down.

4.) Someone decided to send you to hell or Crenshaw and Crenshaw was closer and (and also similar on election day).

5. The poll watchers decided one more vote more or less wouldn’t matter. Personally I don’t support this postulation because they were beyond helpful. Because at both polls they cheerfully showed me how to use the d—- new fangled machines. They also showed me the door and made sure I only voted once. I am not wishing any of the candidates luck, but I do hope they all get what they deserve.

Turn out for the ruinoff (oops I mean runoff) election and do the most damage you can.

Gone to the polls,

Ricky Harpole

P.S. Dennis and Otis, whoever wins this election owes me for that second trip I had to make to the polls.