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Searching  for my underwear in cooler weather

By Sherry Hopkins

Community Columnist

There is a log home for sale, listed in the classifieds of this paper. It is somewhere around Taylor and the selling price is over one million dollars. It has my name written all over it. I have started saving and thus far I have $29. So I have a way to go but every dream is realized by taking that first small step.

I would not be able to keep up or furnish or pay insurance or taxes on such an extravagant home, but after all the log cabin stories I have written of late I have become obsessed with them.

I would like to think I would have made a great 19th century woman but Dear ol Don scoffs every time I mention the thought. He knows me better than any other person in the world and I value his opinion, mostly when it agrees with mine, so I have to say I would probably be the biggest whiner of anyone in that century.

I can scarcely stand to be away from the air conditioner longer than a minute. I can’t imagine trekking out to the outhouse in the middle of a dark winter night to relieve my bladder. No electricity would surely do me in. So perhaps my saved $29 should go towards another dream. I’ll have to ponder that thought for a spell.

Fall temperatures have finally arrived! I don’t know about you, but I think it sure took it’s sweet time getting here. Coffee on the porch watching the leaves fall and the deer grazing on old dead grass is my way to start the day. Soon enough it will be very cold and we will all have a different complaint.

Dear Don and I made a restocking trip to Tupelo and Sam’s Club last week. He takes a lot of over the counter meds and we save a great deal by buying them in bulk. It was nice to get out despite the then-96 degree temps.

I picked up a pack of underwear while there and they made it back to the house where I clipped tags and put them in the laundry. Only four pair of the five made it out of the laundry. We have searched high and low and we cannot figure this out. I know that dryers are notorious for losing socks but underwear too? Gosh.

I even went back to my store receipt to make sure I had bought five pair and I had. I have no earthly idea what has happened to number five. They are simply gone.

After giving up a nearly day long search I have decided to stop looking.

But I am now worried that while out shopping one day these elusive underwear will somehow work their way out of my pants leg where they have been stuck all along. I have had dryer sheets do that and it is quite embarrassing. Can you imagine the looks I could get if my underwear came out? I shudder to think.

The only thing worse would be if my underwear works its way down Dear Don’s pants leg and makes itself known in public.

So we will be diligently checking every garment before we wear it in the future. And if you happen to see a pair of underwear trailing behind either of us while out, please just gently let us know.

We are both aware that our life can be a series of comedy sketches. We are aware too,that as you read this dear readers you are shaking your heads wondering out loud perhaps if there is any subject I won’t write about. Yes, there are subjects, but not man.

Your many letters, calls and emails make me know that you will be OK with this story, too. Thanks for reaching out.

Stay tuned.

You can contact Sherry at swhcsc@wildblue.net or 662.563.2525