I woke up from a nightmare this morning. That is not unusual for me because a man with my history of bad deeds and miscreant activities doesn’t deserve a good night’s sleep. I’ve had them all my life. 

They started with watermelon theft, and proceeded to vehicular and aircraft misadventures and other sundry mishaps involving memories of things I “almost” had previous experience with. 

I once dreamed I was digging a grave on account of my beloved ex. Not to put her in, but to find a place to crawl into myself to hide from her.

That’s how crazy dreams are. Who would cover me up if I was in it?

That sort of stuff goes on a while on your mind, but it fades and the details go away usually pretty quickly.

The medical folks say you can tell when someone is dreaming by watching their closed eyes and observing the movement of the eyeballs. The phenomenon is known as “rapid eye movement” or R.E.M.

You’ve probably noticed a similar occurrence in a sleeping dog. While it’s asleep it starts going through the motions of running while it’s lying on its side. Dogs have dreams, too, you know.

I recently dreamed that I woke up in the White House and I was President of the United States. Well, that was good for a while until all those complaints come swarming in.

This group wants this and that group wants worse and I’d just inherited the mistakes of previous administrations and other moldy artifacts.

It was a dream turned to nightmare.

I was at the point of putting Secret Service on rat and roach patrol but there were already so many in Congress we didn’t have the manpower.

I sure was glad to wake up.

Afraid to go to sleep,

Ricky Harpole

(Contact Ricky Harpole at www.facebook.com/harpolive or www.colespointrecords.com)