Throughout history there have been many epic battles— Concord, Waterloo, Gettysburg, Normandy, The Battle of the Bulge, The Thrilla in Manilla, and The Rumble in the Jungle

 On Thanksgiving Day at my home there will be another epic battle. This skirmish has been fought every year for the past 23 years. It’s a conflict not fought over land, or territory, or political philosophy. There is no title or championship belt to be earned. No one will pass out trophies at the end of the struggle.

 The battle is not over marshmallows on sweet potatoes, though that is a very vital decision on any Thanksgiving menu. It’s not a confrontation over dark meat or white meat on the turkey. Thankfully, our family has declared detente in that area— my son and I are fans of dark meat, my wife and daughter eat only white.

 No, the brawl that will be raging on Thanksgiving Day at our house will be the long-standing clash of dressing vs. stuffing. This side-dish scuffle has been going on in my house since my wife and I met.

 I come from a long line of cornbread dressing fanatics. My family loved dressing so much, we were perfectly happy to skip the turkey and feature dressing as the center-of-the-plate entrée with a touch of gravy.

 My wife, on the other hand, comes from a dual background— Midwest Polish people who eat stuffing, and Northwest Louisianans who prefer mashed potatoes. She can never make up her mind between the two, so she opts for both stuffing and mashed potatoes.

 As a child, we never ate stuffing, period. My great-grandmother used to say only Yankee scum eat stuffing. Mashed potatoes were perfectly fine for weeknight suppers, but never at a formal table. Even when we ate roast beef on Sundays, we would have rice and gravy. Mashed potatoes never made an appearance at the Thanksgiving table.

 Plain and simple: Stuffing sucks. To compound matters, her family likes store-bought stuffing in a box. It’s not even the kind of stuffing that is stuffed inside of the turkey. Mashed potatoes are fine, but not at Thanksgiving. The starch category is covered by sweet potatoes, which are, thankfully, not topped with marshmallows.

In my home, there is no disagreement when it comes to marshmallows on sweet potatoes. That is a controversy in which I would never waver, never surrender, and fight to the death.

 Having mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, and cornbread dressing creates holiday leftoverkill. No one wants to eat leftover stuffing, mainly because it’s not good the first time. Mashed potatoes are always dry the next day and never as good as when first served. A nice dressing recipe with cornbread, pulled chicken, boiled eggs, is the holiday gift that keeps on giving. I can eat for three days from a Pyrex dish of leftover dressing. It’s like a fine wine; it only gets better, and more flavorful, with age.

 The battle begins to heat up around Halloween. I hide the store-bought stuffing boxes, and she fills the cupboard with Idaho potatoes. My brother-in-law tried to keep the peace one year and brought an oyster dressing recipe he had concocted. It was green— nuclear green— and everyone figured it would be safer to battle it out over stuffing than to eat radioactive dressing.

 In the end, this year will probably be like every other year and we will serve it all. Eventually, the infighting will subside, the smoke will clear, and everyone will return to his or her corner to lick his or her wounds.

 The Yankee Poles and my wife will eat stuffing, my mother-in-law will eat mashed potatoes, and all of the intelligent people with taste buds will eat my cornbread dressing. We’ll turn on the television and watch the Cowboys lose another game and the final bell will ring in our tryptophanic battle of the Thanksgiving bulge.

(Robert St. John is a restaurateur, author and self-described “world-class eater.” His seventh book is “Dispatches from My South. Contact him at robert@robertstjohn.com.)