Sherry Hopkins column
Be careful what you wish for, my Grandma always said. You just might get it.
This Christmas I was trying to be practical, so I asked for practical things. I asked for Aveeno night cream that promises to make you look ten years younger by the time the jar is empty. The tiny little jar holds just over an ounce of a wonderful smelling concoction. A mighty tall promise for such a small package. I’ll get back to you on the results.
I also asked for Crest White Strips to whiten my teeth. Kind of a quirky thing to ask Santa for, but nevertheless, I asked and received. Those results will take a while too.
It seems that the older I get the worse my eyesight becomes. Just when I start to “see” things clearly, my eyes fail me. So, I asked ole Santa for a magnifying makeup mirror. I have one from a few Christmases ago, but it doesn’t seem to be as effective as it once was. That’s a little scary to me.
Santa came through and brought a mirror that magnifies ten times the normal size.
Have you ever looked at a 55-year-old face in a mirror that magnifies ten times? It’s not a pretty sight, especially if you happen to be looking down into the mirror. Oh it’s doing the job, but I can barely stand to look into it each morning. I scares me.
When did I turn into my mother? When did I become this wrinkled and old? Where have I been that I didn’t notice all these changes? I hate that mirror. All I really wanted was to be able to pluck a stray hair or two and put on a little makeup without looking like Alice Cooper. But this mirror takes its job seriously. It shows every flaw. There are many. I have taken to holding it overhead while I primp looking up. In this position gravity helps a bit with the wrinkles, making it just bearable for a moment or two.
What was I thinking?
There has been a time or two while riding with Don that I would catch a glimpse of myself in his side view mirror. I would quickly look away and shudder thinking, “Who is that old wrinkled woman?”
When Don would catch me sighing in disgust he remarked that the sign on his mirror said OBJECTS IN THIS MIRROR ARE NOT AS OLD AS THEY APPEAR! Good try, dear Don, but the truth is right before me. You have given me the object that holds that truth. I am older than I want to be. And I look older than I really am.
So now I will try even harder to remember to apply the face saving cream nightly and the white strips each morning. And I may resort to putting on my makeup by soft candlelight.
Surely in a few weeks a new younger me will emerge like a butterfly from its cocoon, younger smoother and brighter. Me just better.
Of course in the meantime I will have to wear long sleeves to cover the age spots on my arms and hands, turtlenecks to cover my turkey neck and scarves to hide the gray. But my youthful face will be shining in all its glory.
You get the picture?
(Contact Sherry at firstname.lastname@example.org)