By Bonnie Brown

Columnist

“Pillow aversion among men is a real thing” says pillow designer Elaine Smith.  Even my sweet, thoughtful Thomas hates throw pillows.  

He makes the bed each morning and turns the bed down at night. He will deal with the “sleeping” pillows, but totally ignores the throw pillows.  And to be clear, he doesn’t add throw pillows (I do) when he makes the bed, and he only moves them to the foot of the bed when he turns the bed down at night.  

I thought perhaps he simply didn’t know where to put the throw pillows. So-called experts suggest that you establish a “drop space.” So I did. 

 It was clear where the throw pillows were placed but he still didn’t touch the throw pillows. This aversion of his is not a new thing.  It’s been going on throughout our marriage.  It feels like a touch-free tug of war. I think he appreciates the decorative aspect of the throw pillows. He just doesn’t think they serve a purpose and doesn’t buy into the ritual of moving them off and on the bed every day.  

When we first married, we bought a couple of king-sized pillows for our bed.  They were comfortable – for a while.  

Then as they wore, we each began the quest for a perfect pillow.  You know, the one that was supportive, not too hot, not too cold.  We are both side sleepers so you would think that we would each select the same style of pillow.  

Not so. Tom experienced some neck pain, so he purchased a pillow that declared that it would alleviate neck pain.  Well, that worked briefly, then he tried a different style of neck pillow.  That one worked for a while, then it was time to purchase a replacement, an upgrade. It was difficult for him to find the comfort where he needed it after he’d had back surgery.  

I was going through an exploration of my own.  Maybe I should try a firmer pillow.  I did but it didn’t feel right, so I tried a memory foam pillow.  It was okay but not perfect. 

 I was on the verge of giving in to the loud advertising and promises of Mike Lindell’s “My Pillow.”  What I did instead was to purchase a travel pillow (14 x 20) which is smaller than a “regular” pillow.  It was wonderful!  I could use it in addition to my “regular” pillow by cradling it around the side of my head, resting on my shoulder.  It was small enough yet versatile enough to provide the support where I needed it.  

My discovery was so exciting to me that I had to convince my husband to try the smaller pillow.  He finally caved and tried it.  It worked.  He tried placing one between his knees which addressed the back issues.  

I was so pleased to have found this bit of comfort in the form of a little pillow that I ordered the small pillows for my adult sons and their wives.  I didn’t think they even liked them until my son told me it was “like a fur-less woobie.”  If you need a reference or definition of “woobie” you have to harken back to the 1983 movie, “Mr. Mom” where the child’s word for his security blanket is “woobie.”  

So, we just added a body pillow to the mix.  I’ll keep you posted.  Should you ever need pillows for a pillow fight, or a pillow fort, just let us know.  We have quite a variety to share.