By Ricky Swindle

Muffler Shop Musings

Howdy, friends!

Just when you thought things could not possibly be more weird in 2020, here came the Election. I figure they will get it all figured out at some point, but it sure is strange times we are living in these days.

I am borrowing a word from singer/songwriter Joe Ely that I heard him say referencing this pandemic we are experiencing. He refers to it as a “pandammit.”

That is a more suitable word and about sums it up as far as I am concerned.

I saw that the marijuana bill passed with an overwhelming majority. The bill passed big in Panola County also.

It got me to thinking maybe I need some of that medical Acapulco Gold. I have to take a pill for everything these days.

I take a pill for #1, #2, sugar, cholesterol and to sleep among others my doctor wants me to take, but I refuse. I even take a pill that helps me to not strangle people who aggravate me. Better living through science, I suppose.

Now, if I could find a way to get me some of that magic herb into my system, I might could drop a few of those nightly pills.

I cannot smoke it though, I hate smoke. My Daddy and a lot of folks smoked around me all my life and it never bothered me. Now days I can’t stand it one bit. So, smoking it is out of the question.

I do not think I am up for snorting it either. With my luck I would probably sneeze and blow away my entire prescription.

I will not be able to eat it in brownies because I am already overweight and taking sugar pills, so the brownies would defeat that purpose.

I don’t really like those chewy gummy bear things because I have spent a lot of money on my teeth here lately and it would be kind of nonsensical to cause damage to my teeth attempting to chew my weed.

The only procedure that is left to infuse the medicinal plant into my system is to grind it up and add it to my can of Skoal smokeless tobacco I keep with me at all times.

That possibility may work because I am not one of the human spitting cobras you see walking around slobbering all over the place. Most folks never realize I have it resting in my jaw.

I could get my marijuana nutrients along with my daily tobacco treatments and unless it made me looney who would ever know?

I may could even spit out my cud, dry it and sell it for folks to roll up smoke and reuse. I wonder if that is legal ? I may need to check with Sheriff Phelps on that idea.

We may need another petition started up on used Skoal cuds. Maybe the Legislature could take that issue up seeing as how they dropped the ball on the whole medical marijuana issue to begin with. We can call it The Skoal Brothers Law.

After further reading, I find that if you are prescribed medical marijuana then you can no longer buy a gun or retain a firearm permit. Now that is going to pose a dilemma for this old Southern boy.

I am going to have rethink this entire prognosis. It may be better for me to continue the current treatment and care I have received with my long trusted physician.

Folks, take care of yourselves. I am not making light of my neighbors who actually need the benefits of medical marijuana, I just do not think it is for me.

You never know though, one day I may need it. If I do, I am sure I will be glad that at least it is a legal remedy in our state and sick folks deserve any and all treatments available for them in this ol’ boys opinion.