Road trips to Florida get long

I normally don’t write articles other than sports, but my recent adventure to Tampa for my brother-in-law’s wedding was too interesting not to share.
As my wife, mother-in-law and I left Batesville I quickly found out where our tax dollars go as the State of Mississippi must lead the nation in orange highway barrels and potholes. We almost certainly hit every one of them between Jackson and Moss Point.
I thought maybe the roads would improve once we got into Alabama and the Florida Panhandle, but after getting stuck in a traffic jam under the Mobile tunnel, and on the Escambia Bay bridge, I got vibes this 12-hour trip was going to feel longer.
We spent the night in Gainsville, and finally made it to Tampa Friday around noon. Now while I consider myself a ‘city mouse’ and love the bright lights, Tampa is a little too big even for me. The six lanes of traffic and four-minute red lights were a nightmare.
Something told me I wasn’t in Panola County anymore when we walked into a Wal-Mart and I ran into a poodle and dachshund on aisle five. Apparently Hillsbrough County is all about being pet friendly.
Saturday night was spent at the swanky home of a future in-law that was complete with an indoor pool and hot tub you could fit a small village in. The only draw back was having to listen to the Florida State war chant all night.
I started thinking it could have been worse. I could have had cowbells ringing in my ears with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” in the background.
The wedding ceremony the following day was fun, if you consider being outside in the Florida sun at 1 p.m. in a long sleeve shirt and vest staring into the sun fun, but overall it wasn’t bad.
Monday morning my mother-in-law suggested we take another route home instead of the roller coaster we took coming down.
So after checking our GPS we headed north on I-75 through south Georgia and eventually to Atlanta. Along the way we drove by Colquitt County High School which South Panola played in football a few years back.
Everything seemed to be going smoothly until about 30 miles south of Atlanta when all heck broke loose . All of the sudden BAM!, a blowout.
Having unloaded what seemed like everything but the kitchen sink out of the trunk, I discovered we did not have a spare tire.
Luckily there was an exit less than 100 yards where we coasted into the town of Locust Grove where we called roadside assistance. It was a two-hour wait for a tow truck.
After the tow truck arrived our next mission was to find a tire place open after 6 p.m. Sure enough one of the service guys knew of a 24-hour tire station.
During the wait, the guy asked us where we were from and we told him Batesville where he quickly replied “South Panola, huh?” As it turned out the young guy played baseball at Itawamba Community College so he knew all about “da U”.
Once we got a new tire our trip from Hades continued as we made our way through Atlanta then on to Birmingham where we dodged tornadoes for about 30 miles.
From there on it was Highway 22 (which I never knew existed) into Tupelo.
Just as we thought all the bad luck was behind us after rolling through the door about 1:30 Tuesday morning, we discovered two of our pets missing. They have not been seen since.
Moral of this story is the next time a family member gets married it better be less than a day’s drive away or this Cajun boy won’t be going.
Give me the French Quarter eight days a week.