Harpole’s version of Uncle Remus stories has all the critters in court 5/28/13

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Harpole’s version of Uncle Remus stories has all the critters in court

I know that a lot of y’all are familiar with the Uncle Remus tales that came wading up through history and were  published as a collection.

The story line in each tale more or less tells of greed and avarice among animals who were given human traits. Ol’ Brer Fox was always after Brer Rabbit.  Ol’ Brer Bear didn’t like either one of them but he would sometimes use their plot to his own advantage, having been more or less elected to settle disputes among the smaller creatures in the woods.

Ol’ Brer Skunk didn’t have no trouble out of nobody for obvious reasons that remain in effect till this very day.

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As a general rule when Brer Bear’s court was called into session Brer Raccoon  served as Defense Counsel. Brer Bobcat was the prosecutor and Ol’ Sis Possum hung by her tail and recorded the minutes.

They were all good at their jobs so none of the other animals had cause to complain. They were too busy going about their own affairs and had no business with Judge Bear’s court except for paying taxes and being called up on occasion to be witnesses or serve jury duty, were mostly concerned the antics, lawsuits and sometimes criminal acts between Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox.
Children, you must bear in mind that the rabbit was a con artist and the fox had on several occasions entered into business dealings with Mr. Rabbit that were mostly of mutual benefit to both parties.

However, ever so often the rabbit would put the screws to the fox who over time developed a taste for “Bunny on the grill” which prejudiced the jury in Mr. Rabbit’s favor in some cases (especially when the jury was of small size creatures and they wanted to evade the wrath of Mr. Fox or the habits of his menu).

Mr. Mouse, for instance, would turn in a guilty verdict against Mr. Rabbit on account of Mr. Fox knew where his burrow was (him being a tenant of Mr. Fox’s and feared for his family’s safety as well as his own).

Mr. Fox’s cousin, Mr. Ferret, was the County Supervisor in Mr. Mouse’s district and could therefore dump a load of county asphalt on Mr. Mouse’s domicile at a moment’s notice.
Naturally Mr. Mouse was “bought and paid for”.

Mr. Rat was Mr. Mouse’s distant kin, but he could usually come up with a reason to be excused from jury duty, citing business catastrophes or cat and badger problems that had to be dealt with without delay.

This greatly perturbed both the prosecutor and defense because the Rat family was, or could have been, a ‘voting majority’ but would not commit as a group.  This factor kept Ol’ Rat out of serious trouble and caused a worrisome problem between the Rat and Mouse families until this very day.

The bailiff, being a retired used car snake, was the only armed rascal in the court except for Brer Skunk who didn’t care what anyone’s opinion was, including Judge Bear’s.  They were just there to insure that the peace was kept during the proceedings before the Court, and it usually was.
After all, a court-appointed moccasin of the cotton-mouth side of the family backed up by a skunk variety mostly discouraged mayhem in the court proceedings.

In the final trial it was a great relief to the court that Brer Rabbit was found guilty by the jury and delivered into the custody of Brer Fox, who promptly ate him on the court lawn.
Brer Bear, who had observed the discovery, measured by the lawful standards of the age, had found out that many of his financial problems that he’d accumulated were caused by conspiracies between Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox.

Well,  Brer Fox was discovered in a croaked condition with his head bitten off.

Brer Armadillo, who was the coroner, being of a stoical mind, declared a ruling of “accidental death” of Brer Fox.

Ms. Possum dismissed herself from the branch she’d been taking notes from with the approval of Mr. Buzzard, who’d been perched on a higher branch, and before they could file an appeal, Judge Bear retired and broke camp for Jamaica.

And everybody lived happily ever after.
Stay out of court if you can and don’t believe the first version of any tale you hear.
Truthfully,
Ricky Harpole
(Contact Harpole at www.facebook.com/harpolive or www.colespointrecords.com)