I killed a rattlesnake today. Of course I was in the comfort of my car when I did the nasty deed. The rattlesnake, bless his heart, was just lying innocently in the middle of the road trying I guess to soak up some warmth on this cooler than normal morning.

I killed him just the same. I refer to all scary creatures as male because I can’t fathom a female being deadly although I know that it is a distinct possibility. Stupid character flaw I guess, or just stupid all by itself.

I checked my journal for my entry from this time last year and found that I had written that July hardly got out of the 70s. Could that be possible? I do remember it being cooler than normal. But it has been unseasonably hot this May and June. My pool water temperature has been over 90 degrees for weeks now. A temp usually reserved for the middle of August. It feels like bath water and has lost all its refreshing enticement.

Dear Don loves the hot water but there is no accounting for the things he likes. He is still eating bread burned black beyond all sensibility at least three meals a day. I mistakenly thought this obsession would have been long gone by now. I was wrong.

Strong smells activate my vertigo at times so I walk around the house with my shirt pulled over my nose like a masked robber getting ready to knock over the local bank. It’s not a pretty sight. Dear Don is oblivious to my vertigo, the smell or my costume. I keep telling myself it’s a man thing and I full well knew he was a man when we married back in the dark ages, but come on, I need a break here.

The toaster oven has flame marks coming out the side vents and around the door. And there is no telling how much electricity he uses trying to burn that dang bread. I’m so over it, I really wish he were too.

So now that summer is officially here I’m still not happy. I’m still “ifing” and “wishing” for something other than what I have. Woe is me.

My grass is dead, burned like Don’s bread and crunches as I walk across it. My lawnmower is awaiting me in the shop but there is no need for it here. There has been rain all around but not at my house. If I’m not complaining about the tall grass and rain I’m complaining about the drought and dead grass. Some people are never satisfied.

This past Sunday on our drive Dear Don took me to the new Love’s Truck Stop at Hwy. 35 & I-55. Now that’s somewhere I’d never been. But it is nice and new and has souvenirs from every state. So if you fail to go anywhere for vacation, just run out to Love’s and pick up a handful of trinkets from say, Arizona, New Hampshire and Idaho.

Who would ever know that you traveled less than 10 miles to get them? While you’re there, grab a cold drink and some nabs and go for a long ride. You just might enjoy it.

You get the picture.

(Contact award-winning columnist Sherry Hopkins at swhcsc@wildblue.net.)