“Uh, don’t feed the cat yeast rolls. He’ll blow up like a balloon,” Dear Don informed me.

“Well, actually I crumbled them up and put them on the big bird feeder for the birds, not the cat,” I countered.

“Well, the birds probably don’t need the yeast rolls either, so just trash them.”

“Wow, that smarts, I thought. “Ok,” I gave in, “ I’m only going to make one more batch and that’s it for me anyway.”

And so goes my pursuit of the perfect yeast roll. Batch No. 2 was better than No. 1 but still far, far from being the light, delicate aromatic roll I’m after. My dough is too heavy and I’m obviously doing something wrong here. Readers have sent in many tips, suggestions and recipes.

One reader said I was using too much flour although I used what the recipe called for. One reader said I had been too impatient in the rising process and another said I had kneaded too long.

How do I know when I’ve kneaded too long? What am I looking for or, better still, feeling for in the perfect dough? I wish the lump of mix could give me a thumbs up or a wink or a shout out when it had enough of my massaging.

Surprisingly, I had really good tips from a couple of men. Not that I’m surprised that men bake but surprised that they can and I can’t and they are tipping me as it were. The best tip being to warm my oven to around 110 degrees and turn it off and then place my covered dough in there to rise.

I haven’t tried anyone’s suggestions yet. I’m scared now, intimidated by an innocuous lump of dough. Thank goodness the ingredients are all things I have on hand and this little experiment in failure is not costing me much because I would have never made it to batch No. 2 otherwise.

I took out the recipes and read them like a juicy novel. I lined up my ingredients in the order of their performance. I assembled all the necessary tools to make my dream come true. Then I stood back and stared, like a deer caught in the headlights.

The mess is huge, the cleanup not so much fun, and the results are pitiful. What’s to look forward to?

Batch No. 2 was so promising. It filled the house with the most wonderful smells and the rolls were lovely to look at. But as soon as you lifted one out of the pan, and realized that the weight belied the light look, you knew they weren’t going to taste good.

So do I give in and try another batch? Or do I just call it quits and stick to things I do really well, like Chinese food and desserts?

It’s hard to be beaten by an inanimate object. My pride is wounded and I feel like less of a woman.

So I guess I’ll keep circling the assemblage of baking stuff, like a vulture on roadkill, till I get up enough nerve to admit to Dear Don that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing and give it up.

I’m just not sure I’m ready to throw in the towel quite yet. I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime last night’s supper was made all the better by some delicious fragrant brown and serve rolls that cost a measly 88 cents. Now that’s what I’m talking about.

You get the picture.

(Contact Sherry at swhcsc@wildblue.net)